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How to Help Your Kids Find Their Own Passions and Strengths

How to Help Your Kids Find Their Own Passions and Strengths

Jul 20, 2016


It is a common scene in several families with siblings that the children are always trying to measure up to one another. Such situations may lead them to compete, compare, and assess how they each fit into the family’s hierarchy. Based on the recent studies, this also affects the way children perceive themselves and how they relate to others outside of their home, making it difficult to find their “true self” while fighting a constant battle for parental attention and praise.

Here are some tips for offer parents to help kids differentiate themselves at a young age, without falling into a predestined household role by default:

Avoid labels as much as possible

As much as possible, cut off those labels. Labeling your child such as “he’s the soccer player”, “the good student” or “he’s the rascal” can build up a competitive environment in your home. Your children might also have a perception that such roles are already taken. As a result, they might have to compete to displace the other or they might find something else as their own by default.

Let them explore their talents

Let your kids to find their ‘own thing’ that’s entirely different from their siblings. This means that the small and quiet things are also worthwhile as the loud, visible, and traditionally celebrated ones. There are several instances that one child feels overshadowed by his high-achieving siblings. This typically leads him to embark on a journey to prove himself. The important thing here is to let the kids realize that what’s important is the confidence to know that they are worthy and special, regardless of their interests or how much attention they get for them.

Never compare your kids

Comparing your kids especially with their achievements is almost the same as labeling them. For example, if the ‘good kid’ role is already taken, the natural instinct of the other child is to differentiate himself. He has the tendency to grab an attention in other ways, which are often negative. Without comparing, a particular child would have the endless possibility of changing his behavior and finding himself in a better place with the parents.

Find time to be with your kids

Moreover, it is also important to spend special time with your kids every day. It is recommended to have at least 15 minutes per day with each kid. This can be guided by activities that they choose and you follow. Let your kid knows that you are 100 percent devoted on this. Try to notice and invest in their interests and different personalities.